An old friend recently wrote me an e-mail and in it he told me he was going to be a Father for the first time. He asked me, as most folks do who know I have two older children, if I have any "words of wisdom". An off-the-cuff answer might typically follow, however, children are too important and I was not going to miss a great opportunity to give him 4 simple pieces of advice.

There are many things one can say, and I do not have the answer, nor do I have perfect children, I have made a lot of mistakes, and am far from perfect, but if any small part of this helps, then at least I've tried. Never miss an opportunity to let somebody know that you care.

The best advice I can give is :

1) Never be afraid to tell your son or daughter how much you love them. Do it when they wake up, when they return home from school, when they're sleeping, etc. It is the most warm reassurance a parent can give.

2) Also, make sure you and your wife agree before you discipline your kids. Always have a quick (discreet) conference away from the kids. This way you kids won't get off the hook by playing "divide and conquer".

3) When your kids challenge your rules (bed times, movie ratings, video games, TV times) stick to your guns, they are only testing you to see how much they can get away with, tell them the limitation are set because you LOVE them and only want the best for them. If you DO NOT do this and they will rule you and may loose respect for you or other authority figures.

4) Use real life examples to help your children see the consequences of good and bad choices they might make. Explain what went wrong in a persons life and how a simple choice impacted their life. Also, show a successful person that the kids know and respect and use them as examples of how the right choice bears a positive consequence. This helps give children a sense of how long term goals and short term impulses can become tangled.

5) And I saved the best for last: Lead a Christian life and be a positive example.

In God's Service,

Richard W. Westcott